when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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