Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize