This girl is more easily done than said...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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