Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
