this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
