I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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