talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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