just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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