Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
