Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
