Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
