Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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