WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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