dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
