I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
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