do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
