Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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