then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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