everyone is single if you try hard enough
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
