Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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