well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
