I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I need water and some morals
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
