I hate your face
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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