I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
