so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
These tits shall not be calmed
The cops high fived after they tackled you
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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