pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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