put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
