I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
