An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
