I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Alive.
So much puke
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
