i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
