Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
