Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
