my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
