I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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