Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize