goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
