the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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