Say something about gay babies.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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