weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
