i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
