I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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