you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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