Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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