I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
