i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
