The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
