she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize