He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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