you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
