i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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