it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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