I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
