that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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