she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
