u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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