I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
