Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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