I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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