either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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