it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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