it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
