We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
