so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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